Thaddy’s Blog

Verse 1

Oh why did you have to go?

Leave me down here on my own

I don’t know what I’m meant to do

Cus all I know is I love you

Chorus

Cus I love you x2

Verse 2

Oh why did you have to go?

Leave me down here all alone

I don’t know what I’m meant to be

Without you being here with me

Chorus

Cus I love you x2

Verse 3

Oh why do I have to stay?

And live on for all of our days

You know I’ll never let you down

You know I’ll always do you proud

Chorus

Cus I love you x2

Ending

Oh why did you have to go?

Cus I love you

Oh why do I have to stay?

Cus I love you

I love you Rheta Shan

Hello. As it says above, this is not Thaddy writing. This is the person behind Thaddy talking, the heartbroken young girl who misses her love.

I really dont know what to say here, i’ve tried believe me,  i just dont have the words to say it.

The news we all recieved yesterday has truly devastated me. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I loved Rheta, and she was the first person RL or SL to show me that love back. I just cant believe Im never going to see her again or talk to her.

Rheta changed my life in so many ways, she was always there for me, she seemed to make everything right. As so many of you know, she fought for everything she thought was right, and would always be there supporting you when you did the same.

Im really struggling, I keep asking myself why could i not be there for her, like she always was for me. I am learning through her non-SL friend Martin that even though he doesnt know much about SL or myself or Rheta for that fact. He knows I loved her, and that she loved me. If this is the case then surely this is more than just a second life, this is life. The feelings are so real, the love, the joy.. the pain and sorrow. I hear she was constantly talking about me in her RL, he tells me so much so he almost got tired of hearing it. Hearing all these things, so nice, what i always wanted, and they’re just making it so much harder. For so long I wondered if she loved me in her real life like i love her, and its devastating to only learn the truth after such tragedy.

I honestly believe that the day I met Rheta Shan was the day i met my soul mate. She was the person put on this planet for me, and I was the same for her. I can only hope I can make her proud while she’s watching over us all, and that she’s waiting for me when my time comes. I’ll never stop wearing her collar, because deep inside i’ll always belong to her, forever and ever.

I love you so much Rheta, forever and ever. Nothing will ever change that. I’ll always be your Sweetie.

A Heartbroken Young Girl from Birmingham, England

As many of you know by now today (18th April) is my rezday. This time last year i discovered second life and decided to join. At the time i had no idea what it would be like, and didnt expect to still be in sl one year later, but here i am now and pleased to be it.

When i was first thinking about this blog post i was thinking of going through different areas of the past year good and bad and going over them, but while that post may come in the next week or so, today is not the day to do it. Today we party, thanks very much to Marx Dudek and CodeBastard Redgrave, who suprised me by throwing together a party for me, starting at 10AM SLT today at Rouge, be there or be a traingle i head someone say on plurk, hehe.

I have decided that this post is just going to be a thank you. A thank you to all the wonderful people I have met who have made the last year one of my most memorable.

Thank you to my lover and Mistress Rheta Shan who has made my life truly wonderful. In the past year i have completely and utterly fallen in love with you Mistress, and what is so wonderful, is that you have fallen in love with me too. <3 xxx

Thank you to my Sisters Lex Berchot and Velicia Llewellyn who are the only people i speak to everyday of the week. They have helped me through so much in the past year. I love them so much.

Thank you to Thalia Rau, one of my best friends since the day I met her, and while she isnt around as often anymore, its always a true delight to get in touch with her.

Thank you to Vannesh Cannoli, who has always been there for me, right from the very beginning.

Thank you so much to my close friend and landlady Marx Dudek who refuses to admit how absolutely awesome and amazing she truly is, but i do my best to let her know it.

Thank you to the rest of my close friends Mirella Dallagio, AJ Granville, Raven Haalan, Sasara Klaar, Isle Lunasea, Moggs Oceanlane, Gabby Panacek, CodeBastard Redgrave and Paypabak Writer, who are all just wonderful people who i love so much.

Thank you to everyone on plurk, who always make me smile especially KC Nightfire and Ess Berliner who never fail to bring a smile to my face and i hope to see them inworld more again soon.

So thank you, to everyone who has touched my life in the past year, it is down to you that i am still here.

What a wierd yet wonderful in parts week it has been. Originally i was just going to blog about my recent PC troubles, but so much more has happened, that i thought i might as well cover most of it.

The week started badly as most of you already know, when my pc died. The graphics card decided it didnt want to work anymore couldnt really have happened at a worse time when im in the middle of doing animation work at uni and had tonnes of graphical work for my shop to complete. Unfortunately i went through the usuals of trying to fix the pc, like reinstalling the operating system and doing various restores, before working out that it was graphics card problems, which means i’ve lost a lot of work towards my shop in the forms of posters and advertising that i was making. This is really annoying as i no longer have a copy of photoshop, so i really have no idea when i’ll be able to get the work done again. So it looks like the opening of my shop is going to be delayed once again, which is a real shame because i was hoping to open it as soon as possible for various reasons.

Luckily for me, my parents surprised me and bought me a new laptop so i wasnt away from everything here and in sl for too long. They told me that as i am switching uni’s in the summer they were going to buy me a new laptop anyway, but as my pc died they were amazing enough to get it me early. Thank you so much mum and dad, even though i know you’ll never ever read this post.

Apart from loosing all of the work that i had been doing on my pc, it was a rather slow week for my shop. I cant really do anything with it at the moment without photoshop, but i did get work started on some new products such as a sofa and an armchair, which were quite low prim for my building style. Im really starting to realise how much more work i am going to have to put in to get my shop up and running the way i want it to be. I have been slacking with it quite a bit lately, and that really needs to change if i am going to have any chance of success. The wonderful words and comments from the people who have seen the shop prior to opening are inspiring me to work even harder and to get it finished so i can show the whole world and hopefully even make a little money. Thank you to everyone who has been to see the shop so far and has shown an interest in it, you are the reason i am doing it.

Ok so im back in world now, what happens next? Well… i quit my inworld job. Im not going to go into the full story of this, because it is long and tiring, but in the short, my sister and i were treated like dirt and i wont stand for that. You’re probably thinking though, if she’s not going to go into the details then why has she mentioned this? I wondered that myself for a bit, but i know why i am, i have learnt a hell of a lot about myself from this. I have found strength, motivation and determination that i didnt know i had. Since leaving the job and refusing to give in to the ridiculous demands that came with it, i have managed to stand my ground and keep my firm position that i will not take either myself or my loved ones being treated poorly and i refuse to give in on this stance. It has resulted in me completely boycotting the sim where i used to work and all activities that go ahead there. I will not be seen as a part of that place anymore and refuse to have any connections to it. I will not work for, or have anything to do with anyone, who tries to manipulate people emotionally, or messes with my loved ones.

I think those of you who read my blog usually will probably be able to see the new strength and determination i have found just from this post. I would not normally feel so strongly about something, but the past week has sparked something deep inside of me and i know i cannot just let it go unnoticed. I am going to do my utmost to put these new found things into the things i do, including my shop and a new project that may be starting rather soon.

Finally, how could i write a post of this week without mentioning the thing that has made it so wonderful. For the first time in what seems like forever, i have spent everynight of it inworld with my love, my Mistress, Rheta Shan. I love her so very much, and she really helped me through what probably would have been a very turbulant week without her there to back me up. Thank you so much Mistress.

Until next time,

Thaddy

As most of you know i have been ever changing in my emotions of late, one minute i can be happy and the next minute im not. Im not a very superstitious person, but with it being Friday the 13th i didnt really have my hopes up for that great a day.

To start with i was right, what started with the plain old task of inventory sorting, ended with me once again in floods of tears. It turns out i really wasnt ready to sort through 7 month old pictures, some of which include friends who have since left the grid. When i finally finished sorting my inventory, i decided to cheer myself up, i would update all of my RR restraints, as i hadnt done so for a while, and also update my viewer. Updating my view went as normal, but i had some probablems when it came to updating my restraints. The biggest of those was the idiot who decided to lock my shackles and run off with the keys whilst i was doing so.

I decided to finish work for the night and asked Sis if she would come shopping with me, something i havent done in AGES!!! Thankfully she said yes and finished work for the night to join me. First stop was the rather wonderful ‘Casa Del Shai’ as I had won two 500L$ vouchers recently at Vanni’s weekly blues event, thank you so much again Vanni . I decided to give Sis one of the vouchers so we had 500L$ each to spend and hopefully not damage our purses much in the process… yeah right. The clothes at Casa Del Shai are some of the best I have seen inworld and around every corner there was another item that sis and I wanted to buy. In the end we both spent more than our vouchers, but personally I think it was well worth it.

I walked away with: Skinny Jeans In Alchem, Deepchild Dress in Moss and the Ruby Shearling Coat in Ebony ( I love this coat soooooo much).

Whilst Sis bought: Adriana Lingerie set, the Dakota pant suit, and a ruby mock turtleneck + jeans (dark ones) oh .. and the absolutely georgeous Reluctant seductress that we both wanted and i cant wait to see her in.

I must admit when i tried on the Coat and Jeans i fell in love *giggles*, i think at the moment this is my favourite outfit that i own inSL. There was only one thing missing, i didn’t have any shoes to match. So at 4:30AM (yes it had gotten late) Sis and I made our way over to ‘Shiny Things’ to find some flat boots to match my new outfit. With more than a little help and convincing I picked up the ‘Comfy Boots in Charcoal’ and while i wasn’t sure when i saw them on the wall, i must say Kudos Sis, they look awesome with my outfit.

With all the shopping done, and Sis and I’s purses considerably lighter, we decided to call it a night, and i went to bed. I had such an awesome evening in the end after what started out such a crappy day. Thank you so much sis, for everything, and I hope you love your new stuff.

Well I think I’ll leave you with a little treat, here is a pic of in my new favourite outfit, including new boots. Unfortunately i cant take the corset off so this pic will have to do for now…

Enjoy Folks and take care!

Yes i am still alive, and i am writing this blog just to prove it. I do intend to keep this blog, just not as frequently as some others do.

Ok so where am i…

Lots has happened in the time since i wrote my last blog post, some productive, some not, some happy, some sad.

Thaddy’s:

For those who dont know already I have been in the middle of making a shop and setting up business in SL for some time now, and over the past month this has really changed from being a thought into reality. With the wonderful help of my love Rheta Shan and the amazing Marx Dudek, i have been able to build my shop and aquire a small piece of land to house it. All that remains are a few finishing touches and setting up of the initial products and we will be off and running. I am planning on hosting a party to celebrate the opening of the store, details of which will be confirmed at a later date, and you are all welcome to come and bring as many friends as you please.

Work:

In the past few days i have finally aquired myself a paying job inworld. Its nothing much, but its actual the only form of income i have in either RL or SL so im very happy with it. I work as  greeter at the Deitide BDSM Playground in second life, so if anyones interested then please come along sometime and hang out.  The main aim of the job really is to earn some money for my store and to help pay back all of the wonderful people who have helped me along the way.

RL:

Recently i’ve been having quite a bit of trouble with RL. I find myself incredibly jealous of my SL and it makes me depressed. This is probably something i am going to blog more seriously about in the future as i find the line between RL and SL getting thinner and thinner.  An update on my knee situation again for those who knew, it is know out of the protective boot and i am able to walk unaided, albeit very slowly, but im almost fully recovered now, so at least there is some RL good news.

Until Next Time,

Thaddy

There have been a few times since i started in SL when i have thought there is no way i can go on, this is the end for Thaddy. I have realised that the main reason behind this is a strict fear of change. I’ve been thinking about this a lot in both RL and SL recently, one thing in particular.

Recently i was at a University open day as im switching Uni’s at the end of the year, and i was put into a group with a mixture of ages, some adult learners and some coming straight from college. I wasnt very confident myself being there, but it was obvious some of the people coming from college were very worried about the step up to Uni. One of them asked me how did i deal with the change, and it took me a long while to answer. I told them that it was a very good question, but really its not something someone else can tell you. They seemed ok with the answer but i wasnt, it played through my head for most of the day. How do you cope with change? What is it that allows us to adapt? Towards the end of the day i got speaking to the same person again, and asked them if they were still as nervous. They told me that they liked the place but couldnt get rid of the fear. I asked them if the situation was the same when they made the step up from school to college, to which they replied yes. I then asked how they felt at college, and they replied it was fine and they were happy there. At this point it seemed to click in and they started seem a little happier. The strange thing is, i didnt realise at the time, but i wasnt only trying to figure it out for them, but i was trying to convince myself. We both realised that change is going to happen in life, its unavoidable. I hope that student went home feeling slightly more assured about the step up, because they had got me thinking and there question had made me more assured too.

This is not the only thing that has got me thinking about change. Recently, my life in SL has been turned upside down. I have fallen in love again, which is something i thought i never would. I have started to build and design, and have started to do things i didnt think i could. Change has almost given SL a new lease of life for me, and is showing me why i log in almost everyday. About a month ago, if you had asked me if i wanted anything in my SL to change, i would have said no. I was perfectly happy with how things were. Things have changed since then, and i am now even happier, just something else proving to me why change isnt something that should be feared.

I think the reason i am writing this post is not only to voice my opinion, but to have a reminder for me, that when things have to change or sometimes things dont go the way you want them too, its not the end of the world. I think back to all the times i have thought of leaving second life, and realise all the wonderful people i would not even know existed, let alone be friends with if i had done so. I have found that change is not always a bad thing and definatly should not be feared.

After recommendation from Miss, and some real boredom, i have decided to start keeping a blog for all you wonderful people to read.. or put you to sleep depending on how well it goes!

Im still not entirely sure what im going to use this blog for… most likely telling you all about the wonderful things im up too in sl… bored yet .

Well if anyone does actually get round to reading this… awesome

Until next time, when i hopefully have something real to blog